Do you have bf?
A girl is having a chat using her cell phone...
UNKNOWN 1: Hi, do u hav a bf?
Girl: Yes... who r u?
UNKNOWN 1: It's ur dad... be home this weekend... we'll talk
(after sometime)
UNKNOWN 2: Hi, do u hav bf?
Girl: Not a chance... who r u anyway?
UNKNOWN 2:It's ur bf... disappointed to know that u'r not proud to be wid me.
Girl: Sorry babe. I thought u were my dad... he texted me a while back asking me
the same question.
UNKNOWN 2: Yes, it's me... we'll hav a long talk...
Two msgs causing heart attack...
msg 1: lets break up, it's all over.
msg 2:I am sorry....... that wasn't for u.
Height of Flirting
Boy: Have a got a pen?
Girl: I am afraid I don't.
Boy: Have a got a pen- to write?
Girl: I am sorry I don't have. Or else, I would give you.
Boy: Do you have a pen?
Girl: ( a bit angry) I said I don't.
Boy: Have a got a pen?
Girl: ( with a loud voice) No.... Now, if you ask me the same question,
I will hit your head with a hammer.
Boy: Do you have a hammer?
Girl: (embarrased) No.
Boy: Okay fine. Do you have a pen?
Definition
An intelligent wife is the one who makes sure she spends so much
that her husband can't afford another one.
Dangerous Friendship
One day, I reached home very late. I told my daddy that I was in my friend's home.
He didn't believe me. So he made calls to ten of my friends. Do you know what they
said?
Four of them said: "Yes he was here."
Three of them said: "He has just left. He is be reaching there soon."
Two of them said: " Yes, uncle. We are studying together. Shall I call him? "
One of them did too much and said: " Yes, dad. Tell me what happened."
Wish
A Couple went to a wishwell.
Husband bent down, threw a coin n made a wish.
Wife bent down a little more & fell into the well.
Husband shouted: WoWww.....IT WORKS...
Result
Teacher : (to Ram's father) Your son is a fool....
Here is his reslult..
MATH : 3
Science : 4
English : 3.5
Economics : 3.5
Nepali : 3.5
Account : 4
Opt Math : 3
Computer : 3.5
Total : 28!!!
Father : Anyway, he has done well in 'total' although he has not taken tuition class in this subject.
Bad Luck
Chhotu: Yesterday, a gang of people came and beat me badly.
Motu: Didn't u do anything?
Chhotu: I challenged them to come one by one if they are really brave.
Motu: Then? What happened?
Chottu: Then what? Each of them came turn by turn and started beating me again- some punched, some blew on my nose. some kicked and some tried to break my hands and legs.
Questions and Answers
Answers of a Brilliant student who obtained 0%...
Q. In which battle did Napolean die?
A. His last battle.
Q.Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.
A. At the Bottom of the Page.
Q. In which state does river Thames flow?
A. Liquid.
A. Liquid.
Q. What's the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.
A. Marriage.
Q.Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations.
A. Examinations.
Did the student answer anything wrong???
I like
I like everyone in this world.
Some are those I like to talk to.
Some are those who I like to be together with.
Some are those who I like to be friend of.
And some are those to whom I like to punch on their nose.....
Ugliness
A girl was crying bitterly.
Mom: what happened dear?
Daughter: Mom do i lookk like a wicked witch?
Mom: No!
Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?
Mom: No!
Daughter: Is my nose flat?
Mom: No baby!
Mom: No baby!
Daughter: Am i fat like a bulldog?
Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!
Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?
Celebration
Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot..
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boy friend and I denied him for marriage.
.
.
.
.
.
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!
An Interview to an indian
Interviewer: Let me check your vocabulary
ZAB : Ok Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.
ZAB: hmmmm. Bad
Interviewer : Come
ZAB: Go
Interviewer : Ugly.
ZAB: Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII ????
ZAB: UGLYYYYYYYYY.
Interviewer : Shut Up.ZAB: Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Ok now stop these all.
ZAB: now carry on this all
Interviewer :oe, stop it...... just stop it.
ZAB: ya, keep speaking..... just keep speaking.
Interviewer : oooooh frennnnn
ZAB: oooooooh enemy
Interviewer : Get Out.
ZAB: Come In.
Interviewer: Oh my God.
ZAB : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer: U r Rejected.
ZAB: I m selected...Thank u thank u sir.
Proposal
6th grade boy proposed a 10th grade girl.
Boy: I love you.
Girl: Stupid,I am older than u
Boy: But I am madly in love withyou.
Girl: Get lost.
Boy: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssssssssseeee, sister.
Thank God
Boy-Isn't Our Principal An Idiot?
Girl-Do U Know Who I m?
Boy-No..
Girl-I m His Daughter..
Boy-Do U Know Me?
Girl-No.!
Boy-Thank God..!
Spelling
Kid:Can we go to McDonald's?
Dad:Only if you can spell it.
Kid: ummmmmmm..... forget McDonald's
lets go to KFC!
Conversation
Bruno Mars : I got a Grenade in my hand...
Eminem : I am not Afraid...
Bruno Mars : I am gonna use Lighters to blow it up...
Eminem : I Love the way you lie...
Bruno Mars : (Ignites the grenade with lighters) BOOM!!!!
Eminem : I need a Doctor!!
Proverb (modified)
An apple a day keeps doctor away.
But if doctor is very beautiful,
forget the apple.
HOPE YOU ENJOYED !
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