Liking
Man 1: I want to buy a gift for my girlfriend for her birthday but I don't know what she would like. Give me a suggestion.
Man 2: Does she like you?
Man 1: Yes
Man 2: Then she would like anything.
Revenge
Boy: My girlfriend broke up wid me & send me pics of her wid her new bf.
Friend: Realy bad. Then wat did yu do?
Boy: I send those pics 2 her dad.
Interrogation
Police: How did you kill 50 people?
Man : I was driving my car at 40 speed, but when i tried to stop i found that i have no breaks, I saw 2 men walking in the street and a wedding going on at the other side of the street.. Who should I Hit ??
Police: Ofcourse the 2 men because of less damage.
Man : That's what i thought myself, but when i did it i hit only one and the other ran to the wedding , So I went after HIM
A change
Santa & Banta got tired using cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send messages.
One day Santa sends his pigeon.
Banta sees the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any message.
Santa:That was a missed call.
Smart answers
Some of the smart answers girl can give to escape flirting from boys...
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
Round And Round
Boss to Secretary: For a week we'll go abroad.
She calls hr husband: for a week boss and I r going abroad.
Husband calls Girlfriend : Wife going,lets enjoy
...
Girlfriend calls her student: For a week u r free.
Little boy calls his grandpa: I'm free.
Grandpa (boss) calls Secretary: Tour cancelled. I'm with my grandson this week.
Secretary calls her husband: Tour cancelled
Husband calls Girlfriend : Wife is not going.
Girlfriend calls her student: This week ur class would be as usual.
.
Boy calls grandpa: Sorry I've to attend my class.
.
Grandpa calls Secretary: We r going abroad.
She calls hr husband: for a week boss and I r going abroad.
Husband calls Girlfriend : Wife going,lets enjoy
...
Girlfriend calls her student: For a week u r free.
Little boy calls his grandpa: I'm free.
Grandpa (boss) calls Secretary: Tour cancelled. I'm with my grandson this week.
Secretary calls her husband: Tour cancelled
Husband calls Girlfriend : Wife is not going.
Girlfriend calls her student: This week ur class would be as usual.
.
Boy calls grandpa: Sorry I've to attend my class.
.
Grandpa calls Secretary: We r going abroad.
Who are the best?
Engineering & Medical college principals argued that their students are Fearless…
Principal of the medical college called his students & told them to jump in the SEA full of sharks..
They jumped…
principal said: See the guts
Prnicipal of engineering college called his students & ordered them to jump…
They said "Have you gone mad, old man??"
The principal said: See the guts!!!
Prnicipal of engineering college called his students & ordered them to jump…
They said "Have you gone mad, old man??"
The principal said: See the guts!!!
Height of Insult
A Girl in a book shop::Do u have the book named ''Girls r very Intelligent''?
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Salesman:"The comedy section is on the Left side.."
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Salesman:"The comedy section is on the Left side.."
Marriage
Guy: I cant marry you, my family members refused.
Girl: Who are they to stop our love?
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Guy: My wife and 3 kids.
Bad Luck
UNKNOWN 1: Hi, do u hav a bf?
Girl: Yes... who r u?
UNKNOWN 1: It's ur dad... be home this weekend... we'll talk
(after sometime)
UNKNOWN 2: Hi, do u hav bf?
Girl: Not a chance... who r u anyway?
UNKNOWN 2:It's ur bf... disappointed to know that u'r not proud to be wid me.
Girl: Sorry babe. I thought u were my dad... he texted me a while back asking me the same question.
UNKNOWN 2: Yes, it's me... we'll hav a long talk...
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